Identity Society- The Refreshing Perks of Being a Misfit
Remember that one cupcake that didn’t come out round like the others because it got stuck to the cake pan and cracked a little when you tried to force it out with a knife? Or the plantain slice that was the first to be cut off from the skin and thus had a slightly more protruded tip after fried. Maybe you are not a foodie but I bet you have seen someone a little bit different from the usual (usual here is relative) and hence seems slightly awkward. They don’t really fit into the norm and hence these unique identities make them stand out.
When we meet someone for the first time, even before listening to them talk, we are able to place them based on factors like dress sense, appearance, confidence levels, etc. more so, when we have a conversation with them. People say a lot about themselves in their use of words that better tells their identities.
From the moment we are born, we begin a lifelong journey of discovery. We discover more about ourselves and our world through a myriad of unique experiences. We are more apt to create our identities through these experiences, beliefs, and values. Ultimately, we create an idea of our identities in our minds: this image is what we want to be known for. Other times, we shape and trim, even resist our identities in order to conform to our environment or societies.
To live one’s life in conformity to societal standards is cool and it does have its own perks but that is not the focus for today. We want to talk about the nonconformists- those who don’t fit in. They are sometimes polarized individuals, nerds, extreme introverts, freaky artists, have funny dress sense, weird ideologies, sense of humour, and other idiosyncrasies. And because of our inherent need to ‘belong’ we always find a niche for ourselves.
I present to you a society of misfits, a society of people who don’t fit into ‘societal’ norms and standards. We know them. Some of us are them. Not just because you’ve been called names like anti-social, weirdo, outlaw, misfit, oddball, etc. but also because you can’t just relate to the general way of doing things. What is normal to them doesn’t make sense to you. The fact that I have used the word ‘them’ thrice in this paragraph is proof enough of the bias that comes with being different.
But in this journey of identity, should there really be a good or bad? Isn’t just being oneself enough? No side of this pole deserves to be stereotyped. If it’s okay to be normal, it should also be okay to not be normal (as long as you’re not committing any crime though). What is not okay is the prejudice we hold on to and this is what affects our judgment of what is wrong or right. Misfits don’t need fixing; the society’s view of what needs fixing is what needs fixing.
Who then is a misfit?
A misfit is someone who is not easily accepted by others because their behaviours set them apart from everyone else. Being a misfit has its perks and some are not so cool. Some misfits suffer; bullying, confusion, rejection, a feeling of being lost, etc. But it’s not just all bad, there are really some refreshing perks about being a misfit. Here are some of them:
1. You enjoy true friendships
Eric is a friend I met in one of the most unexpected circumstances. He was talking to someone else about the zodiac signs in such an enthusiastic manner. I chipped in and ever since we’ve remained good friends. It turns out Eric is not your everyday type of friend, apart from his obsession with horoscopes, he enjoys laughing at nothing really funny, adores and still lives with his mom at over 30 years, always wears a khaki, and likes to think he was a soldier in his former life.
I enjoy being friends with him because he doesn’t try to impress me and I don’t feel the need to impress him. We could both explore our questions on horoscopes for forever and laugh at nothing sometimes- there’s no pressure, no fakeness whatsoever. Eric may not attract lots of friends but the few he has or he’ll have will be loyal and dear to him because they accept who he truly is.
2. Free thinking
Misfits are able to think with clarity and come to decisions free from external influence. They draw inspiration from the energy that resonates within them and/or the beliefs they hold righteously. This is a luxury that most normal people can’t afford since they constantly seek validation from society and/or other people’s views of them. The ability to think freely in this highly culture-centric community is in itself an anomaly.
3. Independence
Similar to free-thinking, however, in this case, the focus is in the ability to hold your own. Why most misfits especially those who have come to love themselves are able to exude so much confidence is because they know who they are. It takes a lot of courage to accept yourself and dare to be different.
It will be much easier to remain an outsider, living in a shell or in pretence completely resisting the reality of your true nature. But when you come out boldly, comfortable in your own skin, not minding what people think; that takes courage.
4. Breeds respect
It takes a lot of confidence and resilience to be a misfit. Not everyone can bare themselves that way especially when you know you are bound to be criticized and be the topic of discussion in every room you walk in. It’s like being a celebrity but not the type swelled up with paparazzi and autographs but the kind people will throw stones at in public.
So when we see misfits who thrived through all the stigmatization, we can’t help but respect them.
5. Builds creativity
Misfits tend to have big imaginations, remember they spend a lot of time alone. This allows them to access the intrinsic world of dreams and thoughts lying in their core. There are lots of artists, musicians, and actors who are misfits. Michael Jackson makes his children wear blankets in public, Michaelangelo never bathed and Leonardo Da Vinci was a vegetarian. So it’s safe to say misfits have genius tendencies or geniuses are mostly misfits.
To all the misfits, you don’t have to fit in at all. You’re the square peg in a round hole, so stand out, and embrace your edges. Keep refreshing the world with your quirkiness. Society can say what they may; they’ll be bland without you. You’re powerful, important, and loved. You’re unapologetic- a beautiful misfit.
Originally published at https://medium.com on September 15, 2020.
